Author Archives: Alistair Todd

What’s this? A photo from Easter Island that isn’t a giant rock face man rock? Yes, there are two kinds of long faces on this island.

When the sun comes out, there are moments of prettiness. Don’t let it fool you though, it’s an ugly volcanic stain in the middle of the ocean.

It’s a little known fact that the Moai of Rapa Nui were modelled on men standing at urinals. Eyes up. Look straight ahead. Look neither to the left nor to the right…

When not driving around in their ludicrously unroadworthy vehicles, some of the locals like to do this:

As well as the sunrise spot, there’s a favourite sunset spot that everyone in town heads for. Needs better weather though:

After a quick halt at the Intercontinental Tahiti (above), a 3am flight is the only option because Tahiti to Easter Island is not the busiest route in commercial aviation:

LATAM don’t have a lounge at Tahiti, only Air Tahiti Nui do. It’s in the Priority Pass network, so I could get in, except they close after their last flight, which is at midnight. So, 2 hours to wait for boarding in a shitty, hot, tiny island airport.

But joy, the last Air Tahiti flight is delayed, so they’re keeping the lounge open.

But no joy, the security and immigration controls are closed for LATAM passengers until 1 hour before the flight.

But joy, 5 minutes of relentless pestering and pretending not to understand them, and they give in and let me through, and I’m into the very quiet and air-conditioned lounge for a not bad selection of wines and sandwiches:

LATAM seating is not the best, and their food service is poor (and badly timed for a 3am flight) but all I’m going to do is sleep, and it’s good enough for that:

A very slow immigration process will leave you glad you were in business class because at 6th in the queue you’ll wait 30 minutes and the rest of the plane is behind you.

Then out into Rapa Nui, its indigenous name. A tiny spec of utterly unappealing ugliness miles from anywhere. Which also works as a caption for this photo of my hire car:

It’s a volcanic speck of shit in the middle of the Pacific and it makes you wonder why the hell you would choose to stay, especially in the wind and rain:

Take a drive to find some Moai, and even though it’s “closed”, it’s just a field so hop over the gate and try to keep camera and spectacle lenses free of rain for long enough to take some photos:

Taking a break from jetskiing around the lagoon. Look at how the clouds form as the air rises over Mount Otemanu.

A couple of hours chasing speedboats to jump their wakes, then a break on a “Motu” (island) to crack open some coconuts for a drink and a snack.

Trying to film from a wrist-mounted go-pro while bouncing around on a jetski is pretty tough, and it doesn’t show how incredibly brightly turquoise it is out here, and I didn’t get a shot of the eagle rays and manta rays we saw, but jetskis cost £250 for 2 hours, so you’re getting some videos anyway. Even if the hotel is free, don’t come to Bora Bora unless you expect to spend lots of money.

Watch this first one to about 1:50 to see how vicious even an easy, beginner-level wake jump is. Bloody good fun though. Can’t beat a Yamaha engine and a bit of air-time, whether land or sea:

Post from RICOH THETA. #theta360uk – Spherical Image – RICOH THETA

Post from RICOH THETA. #theta360uk – Spherical Image – RICOH THETA

I thought the InterContinental Thalasso was spectacular to look at, but the service and facilities left a lot of room for improvement. It’s the one most talked about on the internet, so I thought I’d seen the best of Bora Bora.

Not so. The Conrad blows the Thalasso out of the (turquoise) water. It is sensationally beautiful, the room is incredible, the spa is stunning, the pool is “one of the world’s top 15”, the resort grounds are so much prettier and more varied, the views are amazing, the food is varied and delicious, the bars and restaurants are superb.

It is breathtaking.

I cancelled my final Bora Bora night at the Thalasso and booked one more at the Conrad instead. I’m lucky it’s quiet enough that my Diamond status gets me upgraded from a standard garden view bungalow to a deluxe overwater villa, but at £1078 per night for the best non-refundable members only rate, that makes 80000 points an incredible deal. 3 nights here will not be enough!

These are quite fun for a bimble around the island, though there’s not very much to see because the place is tiny:

So let’s catch the Conrad taxi and leave the main island for the Conrad’s private island:

The place looks good in the brochure:

On arrival, first impressions are… Wow!