Category Archives: Island Hop 2019

What’s this? A photo from Easter Island that isn’t a giant rock face man rock? Yes, there are two kinds of long faces on this island.

When the sun comes out, there are moments of prettiness. Don’t let it fool you though, it’s an ugly volcanic stain in the middle of the ocean.

It’s a little known fact that the Moai of Rapa Nui were modelled on men standing at urinals. Eyes up. Look straight ahead. Look neither to the left nor to the right…

When not driving around in their ludicrously unroadworthy vehicles, some of the locals like to do this:

As well as the sunrise spot, there’s a favourite sunset spot that everyone in town heads for. Needs better weather though:

After a quick halt at the Intercontinental Tahiti (above), a 3am flight is the only option because Tahiti to Easter Island is not the busiest route in commercial aviation:

LATAM don’t have a lounge at Tahiti, only Air Tahiti Nui do. It’s in the Priority Pass network, so I could get in, except they close after their last flight, which is at midnight. So, 2 hours to wait for boarding in a shitty, hot, tiny island airport.

But joy, the last Air Tahiti flight is delayed, so they’re keeping the lounge open.

But no joy, the security and immigration controls are closed for LATAM passengers until 1 hour before the flight.

But joy, 5 minutes of relentless pestering and pretending not to understand them, and they give in and let me through, and I’m into the very quiet and air-conditioned lounge for a not bad selection of wines and sandwiches:

LATAM seating is not the best, and their food service is poor (and badly timed for a 3am flight) but all I’m going to do is sleep, and it’s good enough for that:

A very slow immigration process will leave you glad you were in business class because at 6th in the queue you’ll wait 30 minutes and the rest of the plane is behind you.

Then out into Rapa Nui, its indigenous name. A tiny spec of utterly unappealing ugliness miles from anywhere. Which also works as a caption for this photo of my hire car:

It’s a volcanic speck of shit in the middle of the Pacific and it makes you wonder why the hell you would choose to stay, especially in the wind and rain:

Take a drive to find some Moai, and even though it’s “closed”, it’s just a field so hop over the gate and try to keep camera and spectacle lenses free of rain for long enough to take some photos:

Taking a break from jetskiing around the lagoon. Look at how the clouds form as the air rises over Mount Otemanu.

A couple of hours chasing speedboats to jump their wakes, then a break on a “Motu” (island) to crack open some coconuts for a drink and a snack.

Trying to film from a wrist-mounted go-pro while bouncing around on a jetski is pretty tough, and it doesn’t show how incredibly brightly turquoise it is out here, and I didn’t get a shot of the eagle rays and manta rays we saw, but jetskis cost £250 for 2 hours, so you’re getting some videos anyway. Even if the hotel is free, don’t come to Bora Bora unless you expect to spend lots of money.

Watch this first one to about 1:50 to see how vicious even an easy, beginner-level wake jump is. Bloody good fun though. Can’t beat a Yamaha engine and a bit of air-time, whether land or sea:

Here’s the view from the breakfast restaurant:

Bora Bora is very small, so there’s not much light pollution. Here’s my villa from a different angle:

There’s only a little light from the resort:

Hardly any light on the motu:

So at night you can lie on your lagoon terrace and easily see satellites passing and the milky way glowing. Here’s a shot of Orion taken with a smartphone. Now imagine I wasn’t too lazy to get out the tripod and the good camera and do a long exposure, and picture a sky full of stars.

Today I transfer to the other intercontinental, and I can see online that my standard “inland” room booked on points has been upgraded to another overwater villa.

The best views in Bora Bora are anytime the sun comes out. Above is my villa. Below is the resort.

At the end of each pier is the insanely huge Brando suite. My villa is enormous, but the Brandos are ridiculous and have their own big pool. Apparently Marlon Brando is a very big deal in Bora Bora.

Below shows my villa at the right hand side just before the Brando. Yes, the water really is that bright when the sun is out:

Rush hour traffic in Bora Bora: