Ride Round The World

Hawkers and scam artists everywhere.(Always called Moses. Always have a brother with diabetes who hasn’t eaten today. Always with a cellphone and gold studs in their teeth and a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses but still too poor to feed their 15 children…)

Quite unpleasant. (Although I do understand that most of them have very little income, this isn’t the way to solve it.) 

On the other hand I struck an astounding deal and I believe I am now extraordinarily wealthy.

I could have had a 50 billion dollars note but that would just be ostentatious.

I thought I’d head to the falls for sunset photos. Didn’t realise they close the gates at 6. (Apparently, although in this place you learn quickly to distrust everything you hear because everyone has an angle) Arse. Tomorrow then. First real planning failure on this trip so far, and the reserve option was a mojito at the pool so mustn’t grumble.

I’ve been through many border crossings, and plenty of them more expensive, tedious, slow, or intimidating, but none quite so chaotic.

Today required two crossings. First the exit procedures from Namibia and entry into Botswana, then later exiting Botswana and entering Zimbabwe.

Botswana entry was slow because I arrived just behind one of the stupid “adventure tour” busses and had to queue behind 3 dozen clueless tourists who don’t know that you need your passport to clear immigration.

Trying to get ahead of them, I didn’t stop to take photos of the dozens and dozens of elephants in the trees along the short stretch of Botswana’s Chobe national park that forms the route to Zimbabwe.

The process was crowded and chaotic. Crowded because off all the “customs clearance agents” who you first take to be scammers as they offer assistance you didn’t ask for, but then later you discover that the officials on the other side of the desks require you to get papers from these agents. They’re all in on it together, and just like every other border, all these bits of paper you have to buy for insurance and customs guarantees and temporary import permits are worthless if you do get into an accident.

And the whole thing was so slow because all the forms had to be done in two copies using carbon paper.

There was one piece of carbon paper.

For the whole building.

So we all stood around waiting for our turn with it.

Then you proceed to the next desk, discover another form you have to do, and go back to queuing for the carbon paper.

Anyway, I got in, and arrived at the rather nice Kingdom Hotel. 

I had planned to spend 2 nights here then a night in Zambia, but I can’t face that customs procedure again on the morning of departure when I have a very long drive into Botswana to follow, so instead, in order to still tick Zambia off the list, I’m just going to cross the border on foot, visit the Zambian side of the falls, then return for an extra night at the Kingdom Hotel.

Now to go and see the falls. The good news is that uploading photos should be easy because Zimbabwe seems to have super fast Internet!

Today I drove 400 miles in a straight line on an empty road.

Well, not completely empty. There was a goat.

Overlanding is all about the journey, but there are some days when the only challenge is staying awake.

Just 39 degrees C today.

Ended at Ngepi Camp with an outdoor bathroom in the trees overlooking the Kavango river. Anyone fancy a swim?

PS I can’t see them, but I can hear the hippos.

They sound exactly like Jabba The Hut.

Delicious “meaty balls” with mash and pickled beetroot for dinner.

Tomorrow – crossing the border into Zimbabwe. Fingers crossed for an easy time. I hate borders.

If you look closely you’ll see the tables laid out along the decking for dinner. This is instead of them all being in the restaurant space at one end. It means I am at one end and the loudmouthed German idiot is right at the other end. The staff have done this just for me. I can still hear him but the bullfrogs are louder.

Lazy day around the waterhole today. Pool, delicious food, oncredible service.

Relaxing in one place for a change because next up are two very long driving days to get to Victoria Falls, if I can get across the Zimbabwe border without too much hassle. And without my drone being confiscated.

Stop the press – over there somewhere, creeping around in the dark on the other side of the water hole, less than 50 metres away from where I sit eating sringbok, with no fences in between, is a leopard!

A leopard. Metres from my tent.

They weren’t kidding about not being allowed to walk around the camp alone after dark!

Here’s my “tent”…

Post from RICOH THETA. #theta360uk – Spherical Image – RICOH THETA

Post from RICOH THETA. #theta360uk – Spherical Image – RICOH THETA

And here’s my pool…

The local wildlife have their own pool in the background. At breakfast time there were impala, warthogs, countless birds with colourful beaks, and oryx.

The hotel information booklet in my room has the usual stuff about laundry and fire alarms, but also a section on what to do in the event of a snakebite.

The camp provides these three essential in room amenities:

1. Mosquito repellent
2. Bug spray
3. An air horn for use in “serious emergencies”

!!!

Dinner last night was kudu steak, followed by a glass of Amarula over ice while seated by the fire pit and watching the antelope at the water hole, marred only by the effing loudmouth Swiss tourist who talked nonstop for three hours while his companions occasionally said “yeah, uh huh, really…” One of those arseholes who thinks every silence will be improved by his voice.

STFU and enjoy this incredible environment! 

Thankfully today I can’t hear him and anyway this place is too amazing to care.